Herself is normally a woman of moderation and a calm demeanor. She is a woman of Christian charity who does her best to live her religion in all the practical aspects of life. She donates time to the Hanson Food Pantry and she volunteers to take blood pressures at Church. She gives generously to charity, especially the Humane Society of the United States. She is an unabashed animal lover, a friend to bunnies and squirrels and a generous feeder of birds. She is also a nurse, certainly one of the most serving of professions, but we have recently discovered her dark side.

Actually we rediscover the dark side of Herself every Spring. She has gone absolutely homicidal. The target of her unleashed Irish temper is the unscrupulous cohorts that choose to litter the side of the road along Brook Street in particular, and Hanson’s roads and byways in general. When the snow and rains go away the trash seems worse.

Herself is not really a neat freak, but she appreciates nature and tries to pick up along the road in front of the house. She doesn’t get a whole lot of help from your humble reporter here. In truth, my team mascot is a three -toed sloth, but we digress. As soon as she picks up the litter, it magically reappears overnight; a negative advertisement for the various fast food franchises in the area plus the underage beer drinkers who throw the Bud cans out of the car before they arrive home.

This year living with Herself is like living with “Taliban Woman.” She has declared jihad against litterers and their enablers, to wit every fast food franchise in eastern Massachusetts. It’s all we can do to keep her out of climbing a tree with a bag of golf ball sized rocks to throw at the cars of offending dolts. Herself is normally anti-capital punishment for your run of the mill hit man and axe-murderer types, believing in the redemptive power of long-term incarceration. However, for those who litter, she favors the death penalty by smothering in fast food wrappers or by being thrown into a trash compactor at the Hanson Transfer Station. She is considering linking up with the Brownie Scout up the street, who picks up trash as her service project, to start the Ladies’ Anti-Littering Vigilante Society of Brook Street and environs.

At the end of the day, the purpose of this column is to request the assistance of our fellow citizens in restoring domestic tranquility at our house. Please think twice before you toss your trash out of the vehicle. Don’t help a good woman go bad! We’re a nice town, let’s keep it that way. The Ladies’ Vigilante Society is watching.